I wonder if you hurt for me

I wonder if you hurt for me

If there’s a scar with my name on it

If you ever whisper my name between tears

The way that I whisper yours

Sometimes I scream your name from roof tops

As a warning to your future lovers

To keep your acidic hands away from tender hearts

Sometimes I scream your name from roof tops

As a way to call you back to me

To bring your acidic hands back to my tender heart

Sometimes I scream your name from roof tops

As a way to talk to God

To ask him to stop the bleeding

Sometimes I scream your name from roof tops

But no one hears.

-C.M.

I have a lovely friend name Chloe. She works in business school of the university I attend. She sits all pretty at the front desk and greets the several handfuls of students she loves and is loved by. I am one of them.

I use to work as Chloe’s assistant and now it is routine for me to stop at her desk, or sit behind it with her, distracting her from work and spewing tales of broken hearts and coffee shop drama to one another. Our relationships is unique and I love it. She’s in her early thirties but the way she thinks and speaks and is… combined with the maturity of her age and the experiences she has had, make her a strange combination of mother, boss, sister, and friend. It’s a magical combination and I love her!

Well, she was there for the start, middle, and end of my relationship (details here). She knew exactly what thoughts ran through my mind and what wounds penetrated my heart in that whole mess. Well, she as a friend whose name is also Chloe. My Chloe, inspired her Chloe, to write poetry because MY Chloe is an amazing poet and she once wrote one for me called, “It’s Business and It’s Personal.” I love that poem, oh how I love it. Well HER Chloe recently wrote the above poem and MY Chloe thought of me, printed it out on a small piece of card-stalk and gave it to me. These words are EXACTLY the words that ran through my mind constantly. She expressed it better than I ever could and so I love this poem.

Maybe someone else feels this way to – in fact, I’m sure of it. In the midst of these feeling, I never thought I’d ever know healing ever again. I thought I was a shattered vase, and even being gorilla-gued back together would never make me as firm and secure as I once was. I do think to a degree that comparison is accurate, but also not. At least if you’re in Christ. I think God is a God who really means it when He says He gives good gifts and that he works all things together for good “for those who are in Christ Jesus.” I’ve experience tremendous healing and I praise God that I can read this poem and think, “Ah, that use to describe me perfectly.” Past Tense. I’m not 100% healed and I can relate to some of these feelings still but I have faith and hope in Christ who is healer – not just physically, but emotionally, and spiritually as well. Take heart friends!

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalms 34:18).

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